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Thursday, February 23, 2006


Seven days and I'm good to go. I'm counting the working days left before my last day in my first job. I have mixed feelings of reminiscence and anticipation. Looking back and looking forward.

My more than a year of work in a call center has been such a learning experience. Somebody called it as my "wilderness" like that of Moses' 40 years. Probably (good heavens! good thing mine was just one year!). As for me, the whole experience has been God's way of showing me the "world". To compare and contrast and make my choice.

It was my most materially lavish and comfortable epoch. Every month I get an allowance almost triple of what I have when I was in college. I was living in a place with two house helps. I can buy whatever I wanted. I've indulged in several overnight gimmicks, including one where we went to Tagaytay after an after-work party just to eat "bulalo", overlooking the breath-taking Taal Lake (but lemme say that I enjoyed it so much even if we haven't got any sleep that time). It was fun... It was worldly. Those were also the times when I would go home to rest my tired body and feel so empty and lonely. I would always ask myself, "Is this really the life I wanted?"

Sure, I escaped the prying eyes of friends and my life in LB, or should I say my Christian duty, because I said I was "burned out". I needed a new environment. A breath of new air. A walk in the park. And off I went. And off I enjoyed my so called freedom... but not for long.

The Wise Man's words in Ecclesiastes were true, "everything is meaningless, utterly meaningless". Indeed. Contentment is not on the next block. You're looking at the wrong place, buddy. Not here.

I got tired. I have to face some truths. I have to make tough decisions. I have to let go of my comfort zone. I have to face the reality that I have to grow up and be responsible.

Now I'm heading back home. Surely it's not gonna be the same when I left it. Why did I made this choice? Peter once replied to one of Jesus' questions, "To whome shall I go...?". Not that I'm running out of options or I was threatened or I reached the dead end. It's because this is the life God prepared for me. It's because home is where my heart is and my Father is waiting.


manÜ @ 3:49 PM





-"Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success... ...Flat stretches of boring routine... ...And valleys of frustration and failure."

-Calvin







-bios-
I'm a man who's always been a kid. Been through quite a lot at 23 so I'm calling myself a "man" now -- a better and a more mature chap.

I hate growing old, though now I'm trying to accept that there are some things that are inevitable.

I spell fun with a capital F. I always want to initiate one and wants everybody to enjoy it and I also know how to make one for my self. It was just lately that I discovered that I am friendly. I despise the dull and the boring. I love variety and adventure which usually bring me trouble. I may appear shallow and I don't blame people if they may call me one.

Just like your typical sanguine-melancholic, I have my deep and serious side and I'm afraid to show it because people may not like it. I can be serious if the situation demands it but I always wanted to make things as light as possible. I'm a cry-baby so if I can avoid it, I break the ice.

What I like about myself is I can easily get over with tough situations and accept things easily if I figured that I can do nothing to change it. Not that I easily give up. God's grace must have taught me a lot about letting go and solely depending on Him. Same grace that gives me the assurance that I'm forgiven and saved.

Im resilient like the bamboo, yeah, your typical Pinoy. I'm a people person, a people-pleaser which is both an asset and a liability. I value my relationships a lot. I will not spare my time for a good talk with a friend. Conversations, I believe, are very important.

I'm not afraid to err once in a while. I even take it like a medicine. Most of my greatest learnings were from the mistakes I committed. As a text message from my buddy puts it, "the more difficult the search, the greater oppurtunity to learn along the way".

A caution though, I'm the last person you wanna mess up with...

(a little suspense on that part...)

...because you're not gonna get anything from me. Peace loving person here, buddy.





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-compadres-
cookie munchin' jan
her highness
the biker's shots
the enigmatic
penguin's pole
autumn bob
crazy rayz
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