Thursday, February 23, 2006
Seven days and I'm good to go. I'm counting the working days left before my last day in my first job. I have mixed feelings of reminiscence and anticipation. Looking back and looking forward.
My more than a year of work in a call center has been such a learning experience. Somebody called it as my "wilderness" like that of Moses' 40 years. Probably (good heavens! good thing mine was just one year!). As for me, the whole experience has been God's way of showing me the "world". To compare and contrast and make my choice.
It was my most materially lavish and comfortable epoch. Every month I get an allowance almost triple of what I have when I was in college. I was living in a place with two house helps. I can buy whatever I wanted. I've indulged in several overnight gimmicks, including one where we went to Tagaytay after an after-work party just to eat "bulalo", overlooking the breath-taking Taal Lake (but lemme say that I enjoyed it so much even if we haven't got any sleep that time). It was fun... It was worldly. Those were also the times when I would go home to rest my tired body and feel so empty and lonely. I would always ask myself, "Is this really the life I wanted?"
Sure, I escaped the prying eyes of friends and my life in LB, or should I say my Christian duty, because I said I was "burned out". I needed a new environment. A breath of new air. A walk in the park. And off I went. And off I enjoyed my so called freedom... but not for long.
The Wise Man's words in Ecclesiastes were true, "everything is meaningless, utterly meaningless". Indeed. Contentment is not on the next block. You're looking at the wrong place, buddy. Not here.
I got tired. I have to face some truths. I have to make tough decisions. I have to let go of my comfort zone. I have to face the reality that I have to grow up and be responsible.
Now I'm heading back home. Surely it's not gonna be the same when I left it. Why did I made this choice? Peter once replied to one of Jesus' questions, "To whome shall I go...?". Not that I'm running out of options or I was threatened or I reached the dead end. It's because this is the life God prepared for me. It's because home is where my heart is and my Father is waiting.
manÜ
@ 3:49 PM